Working together with people who disagree can be hard for some people, but really, it’s what we do every day in our lives isn’t it?
We might have a discussion about who should be the All Blacks half back, or tighthead prop, or if The Warriors can hold it together for a whole season this year. Or if Luxon is as good as he thinks he is.
We rarely all agree on everything, but because we are friends we get over the disagreements and get on with stuff we like doing together be it fishing, golfing, playing music or walking our dogs.
We don’t have to agree on everything, but we get on regardless.
Imagine if we took that perspective into our wider lives and especially into our online presence.
I recently posted on one of our local social media boards a post promoting a concert I’m running as part of this campaign – here it is here.
An old adversary immediately felt the need to turn on attack mode and say his piece.
Adrian Van Der A “Nothing to see here this guy doesn’t know how to run a budget to save himself he so far left he thinks the covid jab saved lives he’s in love with horse face and napkins Nothing good can come from anything he might try to be part of”
I’d been looking for an opportunity to address this divisive and negative rhetoric and I knew from previous dealings with Adrian that he was still butthurt by the previous government. My reply was as follows.
Dave Stewart
Hi Adrian, I’m certain you are referring to the time I stood on the side of the road in Whakatāne after Jacinda Ardern resigned.
The day after she resigned i drove up to visit my grandkids in Whangarei. I have 3 first cousins up there as well so it’s always a good trip and I really enjoy driving up there.
This particular trip wasn’t pleasant at all.
Going over the Bombay Hills into Tamaki Makaurau I saw a paddock beside the road. Someone had placed round haylage in a row, enough to spell out RESIGNATION ACCEPTED.
If that’s all it had said I would have blinked and carried on.
But in the middle there was a stuff horse, with bright red lipstick and big teeth. She was rectally skewered on a large piece of wood.
I immediately wanted to stop and find where the person who had done this was and talk to him about how ugly it made him look.
That kind of violent rhetoric and imagery had become normalised by the inaction of decent New Zealanders.
And I was one of them.
No one says you have to love the politicians who you don’t support. I don’t love the 3 that are there now.
But that’s my right to do that.
But the vitriol that was added to the political discussion at the time had boiled over as far as I was concerned.
I knew all the way to Whangarei and back to Whakatāne that when I got back, the very next morning I was going to stand on the side of the road and deliver my simple message.
I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I wasn’t going to do nothing anymore.
So I made a sign that said Thank You Jacinda Ardern.
I changed it the next day, adding “Best PM Ever” so that people knew I was thanking her for her service, not for resigning.
And we all know what happened.
People like you, and probably the person who rectally skewered a stuffed animal, had a fricken cow.
I thought it was really odd that to a small but loud bunch of people, saying thank you was a dangerous act for someone on their own.
How could just one sign held by one person make someone angry.
So now you know how I felt.
But you know what else happened?
People thanked me. Lots and lots and lots and lots of people.
So many that I realised that there is a time to stand up and amplify a different message.
And while you can say nothing good will ever come from anything I try to do, you’re already wrong about that.
Because I know the numbers who think like you are small compared to the numbers who don’t think like that.
So be assured, very assured, that I’m not losing any sleep over you reminding people that when it came to violent rhetoric, I was against it. And I spoke up.
I wish I had of spoken up sooner.
Adrian was triggered.
Adrian Van Der A
Dave Stewart Holy shit Dave I am wrong you will fit right into the bullshit that makes up councils al over our country great for you sad for all the rate payers it’s interesting what it takes to make communities we have these groups of self entitled people much like yourself and a number of current councilors who have there own agenda to the detriment of community for which you proclaim to serve I to have had many members of this beautiful town that I was born and raised in suggest I run for council also if only I had the time to serve the community like they deserve but I don’t retirement takes up a lot of my time but be assured I will be back in the Beacon like was a number of years ago enlightening our community of accountability something hopefully one day not holding my breath though jacinda horse face and napkins will be bought to account for the carnage they bought on this country forcing people to choose just to keep there jobs and ruining countless careers.
Undaunted by Adrian’s newest effort I continued to reach out to his better judgement.
Dave Stewart
Adrian Van Der A I wrote this a little while ago and thought it might be something you’d like to read. It’s about the huge divide between people like you and me right now.
It’s my final word really, if you don’t like, I’m fine with that.
https://daveforcouncil.nz/334/
Why Support Dave When You Don’t Agree With Him?
This is my request for you to support my campaign.
I think we are all focussed as a community, as a world even, on what divides us and what we disagree on.
We stand far apart from each other and shout across a huge divide, no one prepared to give an ideological centimetre to their opponents.
But what good is that doing?
It gives us all a hollow moral victory dais to say “I’m right and everyone else doesn’t matter.”
I am sure you’re not that person and I know I’m not either.
I’ve never had any interest in standing for political office, and I had several offers over the years.
But I do believe that we need to come together and start acting like a community again, and embrace our differences rather than use them as weapons on each other.
That can only be achieved by showing people the way to do it.
I’m currently inviting musicians to participate in Dave Aid – A Concert For Whakatane.
One of my guests who has said yes is a musical friend who I have been involved with since my teens. He’s a Ponsonby property portfolio investment advisor and we couldn’t be further apart politically. But he knows me and he knows what I stand for.
He knows I will make a good councillor and he hopes other good councillors will out vote me and follow policies more aligned with his perspective.
But he isn’t worried that I will challenge them and prosecute for my own values.
He was concerned that participating might be seen as a political ‘endorsement’ and I told him I have no problems with you using the platform at the benefit concert to explain we don’t agree on some things, but I would ask you to see that by participating you also show that the world is bigger than a disagreement two friends might have.
Our world needs to know that friends can disagree and still be friends.
We can have strong disagreements and still be friends.
It’s because we are friends that we can disagree.
This is my message to the Whakatane Community – let’s remember that, at heart, we are all human and count on each other.
We need to heal our divisions.
If you think about this and still find it a bit more than you can be comfortable with, I am totally fine with that.
And I really appreciate that for some people this is a difficult decision, and whatever your answer to it is, is the right decision.
For you and me and for everyone.
Finally Adrian heard my message of this campaign.
Adrian Van Der A
Dave Stewart I love the approach Dave and I to get frustrated with the division which exists in our community’s and indeed around the world I don’t know when has been worse then now and being able to come together and work towards a common goal would of course be the ultimate way to go I guess for me to see our governments regardless of who might be the government work together all of the time rather than fighting against one another but of course that’s what you are talking about if only for a perfect world.
My reply closed the discussion.
Dave Stewart
Thanks for reading what I wrote and thinking about it.The only way forward is working together, and that includes working with people we disagree with.
For What It’s Worth – Buffalo Springfield
There’s battle lines being drawn
Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
It’s time we stop
Hey, what’s that sound?
Everybody look, what’s going down?
